[ enter pityful title here ]

I'll be honest with you. I'm miserable. My distempered heart beat bears nothing but agony. I don't want feel like this, I don't want to hate you, but I can't help it. I know I don't have the right to be like this towards you. But pain knows no benevolence. I really don't know what message you are trying to send me, but it has my heart bound to a string. I know I didn't give you much to hold on to, but you have everything I could possibly offer now, to the point where I don't have anything to hold on to. Is it karma? did I really deserve this? to go through this again? I'll tell you this isn't the first time I've been caught in something like this. This brings nothing but the familiarity of having my mind becoming my enemy, smothering me with thoughts of all the possibilities, betraying me. The first time was hard enough. I don't want to be selfish, but I have done nothing wrong to receive this punishment and torture to go through this again. I really don't know what's going to happen, but we have no more future. No more could-be and would-be thoughts between us. It's not that I refuse to talk to you, it's just the fact that I have nothing to say to you. Forgive me for who I'am and what I will become. No more songs about you, no more reading your old notes, no more waiting up to talk to you, no more betraying myself thinking "someday". Only because we are "no more". No more than friends, no more than the first day we met at the 11 bus stop. You are my history, our history was my life. Forgive me for being like this, I don't want to be like this. But pain knows no benevolence.

I hope you find happiness, I truly do.