...

feet don't fail me now.

...

I wander through fiction to look for the truth

so my manager is a pretty funny guy...

Alright so I'm at work right, and its pretty dead. However I'm waiting for my customer to come back for her ridiculous package which I set up for her. Suddenly my manager Ary calls me down.

Ary asks "hey...is your jacket warm?".

"Uhmm, I guess...why?" I reply.

"Alright...go get it" Ary answers.

"Why???" I ask.

"Don't worry about it... just get your jacket first" Ary answers

So I grab my jacket and I go see him.

"Okay I got my jacket... what do you want me to do with it?" I asked

"Alright...put it on". Ary replies

So I put on my jacket...on the sales floor looking like a retard cause everyone snickering while I wonder what the eff is going on

"okay its on..." I state

"Okay..zip it upp...all the way... put your hood on too..you got gloves?? yeah put those on too...by the way, nice jacket...what is it...burton?? nice" replies Ary

So I do as he instructs me just cause hes the manager and that means hes the baddest mofo in the facility and then he goes

"Alright...heres 20 bucks...theres a large cheese pizza waiting at panago. The staff thanks you for your generousity"


LoL what a dick move.... but I did tell him I had a package waiting for a customer. So he made this other kid and get it. Haha


and...it was like -36degrees outside. So yeah... me walking a block to panago to get pizza... no effing way.

Funny Customers

Alright so I work at Future Shop as a Communications Expert, and so its pretty much in my job description to deal with idiots on a day to day basis. So I thought I'd enlighten you with some amusing stories

The iPod Man:

Alright so I'm standing at the computer checking out my statistics for the day, and this man comes up to me.

"Hi, I'm looking for an ipod.." asked the customer

"Yup, just over here" I reply and proceed with him towards the Mobile Audio Department.

Then he asks "Alright so I'm looking for an ipod thats not made by apple...cause I hate apple"

I look at this guy trying to figure out if he's bustin my balls. But to my surprise... the man was dead serious. Then I go on to explain to the blantantly non-tech-saavy man that Apple is the only manufacturer that manufactures ipods. And he is convinced that I don't know what I'm talking about because he supposedly seen them at our store. Of course I go on to tell him that he must of mistakened what he saw. Then he went on about how I don't know how to do my job and that I don't know technology and then shortly after he stated the #1 Ultimatum known to all Future Shop Employees.

"I'm going to Best Buy"

Like seriously...what is that supposed to make me mad or something? haha the money still goes to the same place. Good luck finding someone to help you there too. Like seriously... I'm tired of people saying they are going to best buy cause they are better cause they own us. For fucksakes...they don't own us. The stock holders own us as well as best buy so we are sister companies you douche, cept we are the better one :)

The Rockband Man:

Alright so our store set up a rockband station where people can actually sit down and play rockband for a bit right. And I notice this greasy-longhaired-metallicawearing-scraggy-pierced-safetypinsporting mofo is playing the drums. He looked so into it... i mean the whole headbanging arms flailing act is absolutely hilarious. Seriously...what is that cool these days?? show everyone that you are good at a game? haha get a real drum set... get a girlfriend...get a life. No one's impressed with your lame tryhard attempted to appeal to the eyes of society. Now, 4 hours have passed...and his rockband master finally gets off. So I walk up to this drummer god and I ask him if he's here just to play rockband or if he actually needs somethin. And he replies with this

"I'm waiting for my girlfriend."

LOL I almost busted a nut trying to refrain from laughing. Like bro... you don't a girlfriend, but if your story is true... she probably left your rock legend ass after she saw how stupid you look.


The Pay-As-You-Go Thief

Another day in the store, I'm doing my usual walk around my department making sure everything is properly placed and what not and then I notice this shady lookin mofo from the corner of my eye. So I look to him and he sees me and then he darts to the other direction. So in my head... I'm thinkin

"This mofugger is tryin to hustle me."

So using my ninja tactics... I leave him with the impression that I'm leaving the permimeter. Then I make my circle around him and I pop up on his other side and "surprisingly" he's tearing open a pay-as-you-go phone.

"Excuse me..." I stated

The phone bandit is startled and he turns around.

"uhhh... I need a battery" He explained

"well you do know that you gotta buy that if you need the battery" I replied

"Well...I need it now..." He said

"Well...buy it now then" I stated

"Okay...well...I don't need a battery no more..." He answered.

The googly eye goofball then gave me the half opened box and left. Seriously... how stupid can you get thinking you can out beat the system...especially when you got Jeffreynoodle on the watch.

Random Rants:

-You'd be honestly surprised at how stupid people can be. Like my department is the first department you see when you enter the store right... and I always get customers who come to me and ask...

"Where are your computers?"

This is when I seriously wanna reply

"uhhh... the place right there where it says C-O-M-P-U-T-E-R-S in big ass fuckin letters. For Fsakes... use your eyes.

Another thing that chaps my ass is asian people who think they can outsmart me by talking in chinese or viet. I can understand both so talking shit about me in viet/chinese isn't gonna give you a better deal you cheap mofo's

And no... you don't know my dad...therefore I'm not gonna give you a deal

No...I don't care if you are spending 100$+, therefore I'm not gonna give you a deal.

No... I'm not going to staff this for you in exchange for your payment

No... I refuse to give you a deal because the box has a tiny dent in the corner or its scratched

No... I will not give you a deal simply because you think me and you have got to help eachother out on the note that we are both asian.

wtfm8

Alright, so a couple nights ago... I'm eating an apple, cause I'm sucha healthy mofo, anyways so I peering out my kitchen window... and I notice something flying in the sky. And you're probably thinking "what are you retarded? its a mofuggin` planee or toy". Well screw your logics... it was a ufo yo.

And these are my reasons:
1.) that shit was circling around the sky turning at ridiculous speeds and at sucha radius
2.) who the fuck is gonna go into the field when its -20degrees at 11:00pm and fly a stupid flying toy
3.) toy's don't have engines that you can hear from that far away
3.) that shit had a spotlight... like a crazy ass spotlight that could rape your eyes to blindness
4.) it had some kind of upside down "Y" thing hanging at the bottom that lighted up along with the rest of the UFO.
5.) The spotlight spotted me when I went outside to check it out.

Yeah that shit wasn't plane or helicopter, it wasn't no toy, its not chuck norris, and I wasn't under the influence of a hallucinogen. It was a goddamn ufo, yes maggie.... a freakin ufo. Everyone probably doesn't know what I'm talkin about because they all got ZAPPED! like BAM first they probably probe you and shit...and then erase your memory of it! But somehow knowing how awesome I'am... I was able to resist the effects of their mind zapping tactics.

okay anyway... I was actually going to blog about how my nose is leaking and I'm hacking up lung butter, but I came across maggie's blog which mocked my theory. But yeah... my medicines kickin in... and I'm gonna pass out right here if I don't drag myself to my bed. Cya later space invaderrrr. hehe im so clever.

LOL

!ek0. invictus says:
im gonna kick your shin
a.Laanaaaa - - | ♥ { remember } - says:
SHIN?
a.Laanaaaa - - | ♥ { remember } - says:
you want me not to have kids!?

Legacy

Londonderry Jr.High's Junior Boy's Volleyball Team 08/09

5wins : 0losses

I've been coaching for about 3 years now. This is my third and last team I will be coaching cause next year I won't even have a social life..let alone time to coach a bunch of prepubescent, cocky, bratty little group of princesses. Mrs. Gibbons (my former coach and team manager), shes retired from the whole volleyball mumbo jumboo, she claims I'll be back again. Who knows? haha , for some reason I just can't let go of the experience. Losing my voice every practice, demanding a gazillion push ups, expecting only perfection of the execution of plays, deafening the boys with shrieking fear from my whistle, watching a bunch of punks grow into young respecting men. Sure I lose my head from all the frustration and impatience, but in the end when you watch them play at the city finals... its all worth it. From the first day I saw them at tryouts.... my grandma could honestly play better than them, till now; you would seriously think it was a miracle. Especially from day one where they all worked on behalf of themselves, seeing them come together as a team and carrying each other to victory. Thats something you don't witness in your everyday life.

Why do I do this? To be honest, I don't know. It's not the overwhelming power and fear you bestow on the players. It's not the fact that you have a whistle in your mouth and a clipboard in your arm lookin all badass. It's the feeling of turning a group of strangers lookin out for themselves, into a unified unit with one goal. Just the feeling alone of having a player absorb your teachings and utilize them in real time it's uplifting.

"one team, one road, one gold"

"The only thing separating champions and runner-ups is that net, in which is the only shred of hope for the opponent from total domination."

"What team? LIONS"

"They have the balls to walk into the lions den and think they have a chance at winning this game. You boy's know every line, every scratch on this court which you have marked with your own blood and sweat, therefore the ball does not touch the ground in this court represented by the name on your chest, and the number on your back. Represent the school, represent me, represent the team and represent the heart that makes you boys champions."

"That was ridiculous, give me 20."

"I don't care if its a Monday."

"Let me put on my careface."

"This isn't teddy bear daycare."

"So what if you're taller than me"

"Hey minnie mouse, talk to me when your balls drop"

All in all, I love my team and their stupid antics. Even if their annoying high pitched squeeking voices give me killer headaches and the lacking of a megaphone, I'll still be the first in the gym and out the gym, still a coach on the court and off the court.

hm

Yeah so I met this one kid in gr.4 in the park at recess. He had glasses, pretty short. I recalled him from my previous lunchtime intramural game... he was on the other team which we lost to by a few points.

I was standing on a platform in the park and he came up to me.

"Hey...you were on the team that my team faced today and totally beat by like a hundred points" said the cocky little punk.

"Uhhh..sure? we only lost to you guys by like 4 points" I said.

"Yeah whatever, my name's Chester" said the cocky short punk.

"I'm Jeff....yeah I've never seen you before.." I said

"What? everyone knows me.." replied Chester.

"Well I don't know you.." I answered.

"Whatever... you play basketball?" asked Chester.

"Uhmm... a little" I stated.

"wanna play?" Chester asked.

Yeah we played basketball that day for the duration of the recess, then again the day after, and the day after. We still do play occasionally, but we end up talking about random shit lol

Anyways yeah we started to chill more... chillin at his grandparents house, playin with our ballin beyblades, bike riding and getting lost to the point where we knew belle rive and cherry grove like back of our hands.

We went throughout Jr.High and High School together, through thick and thin. But one thing we've never really had is the decency to be sincere to each other, It would be way to awkward to share such a moment haha. Most cases we would rather insult each other with provocative, sexual, racial, ridiculously ridiculous terms. If we had a penny for every combination of negative words fabricated into one funny ass insult... we would be filthy rich. But still, we wouldn't go through with such civilized manners.

Even if we don't share those moments cause if we did..it would feel totally gay, doesn't mean I don't acknowledge of the shit you do for me, whether its paying for my chicken nuggets at Mcdicks..or paying for the rest of my snowboard because my debit has a stupid limit that I never knew I had. I won't every forget what you've done for me, which helps me remind myself that I probably owe you some money haha.

Thank you, you cocky little punk :)

wtfm8

Alright, so I'm studyin for my bio exam tomorrow... and I'm feelin really tired and my solution to that is the consumption of pop to keep me going cause sadly I don't have any energy drinks. So I'm on my third root beer and I still feel like I'm gonna pass out right here on my desk. Yeah turns out my fuggin root beer is caffeine free. Basically I've just consumed 480 calories for no reason.

gr. I hate you bio

>=[

Highlight of the day:

Sitting in English class wishing I had a chap stick, then reading your text message that led to a smile . Took 5 minutes for my lip to stop bleeding.

Six Stringed Expressions

A guitar is your personality expressed through six strings.

It's been about a month since I've touched my strings. You can totally tell if I haven't played guitar in awhile when my nails are freakishly long..which they are lolol. Sorry Toady, but I'll be back soon.

PS: Biology sucks

invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul.

Post Secondary huh?

Pressure is on :( I have no idea on what I do wanna do for the rest of my life...

I like digital arts, graphic designer's don't make as much imo.
I like teaching, getting a job locally is gonna be homogay.
Medicine? do I really want to spend the rest of my life behind a counter?
Doctor? too much commitment for university... I kinda like my social life
Hell, I'll be a slurpee salesmen or a burger specialist :)

However I did manage to grab myself some brochures on post secondary faculties..along with some freebies >.> I'm loving my 4 "Faculty of Science" lanyards as well as my 3 green "Faculty of Arts" pens (which look great when I'm at work and I hand people the pen when they need to sign the receipt, makes me look coolbagels :] )

In general... school sucks and my pen's are cool.