Funny Customers

Alright so I work at Future Shop as a Communications Expert, and so its pretty much in my job description to deal with idiots on a day to day basis. So I thought I'd enlighten you with some amusing stories

The iPod Man:

Alright so I'm standing at the computer checking out my statistics for the day, and this man comes up to me.

"Hi, I'm looking for an ipod.." asked the customer

"Yup, just over here" I reply and proceed with him towards the Mobile Audio Department.

Then he asks "Alright so I'm looking for an ipod thats not made by apple...cause I hate apple"

I look at this guy trying to figure out if he's bustin my balls. But to my surprise... the man was dead serious. Then I go on to explain to the blantantly non-tech-saavy man that Apple is the only manufacturer that manufactures ipods. And he is convinced that I don't know what I'm talking about because he supposedly seen them at our store. Of course I go on to tell him that he must of mistakened what he saw. Then he went on about how I don't know how to do my job and that I don't know technology and then shortly after he stated the #1 Ultimatum known to all Future Shop Employees.

"I'm going to Best Buy"

Like seriously...what is that supposed to make me mad or something? haha the money still goes to the same place. Good luck finding someone to help you there too. Like seriously... I'm tired of people saying they are going to best buy cause they are better cause they own us. For fucksakes...they don't own us. The stock holders own us as well as best buy so we are sister companies you douche, cept we are the better one :)

The Rockband Man:

Alright so our store set up a rockband station where people can actually sit down and play rockband for a bit right. And I notice this greasy-longhaired-metallicawearing-scraggy-pierced-safetypinsporting mofo is playing the drums. He looked so into it... i mean the whole headbanging arms flailing act is absolutely hilarious. Seriously...what is that cool these days?? show everyone that you are good at a game? haha get a real drum set... get a girlfriend...get a life. No one's impressed with your lame tryhard attempted to appeal to the eyes of society. Now, 4 hours have passed...and his rockband master finally gets off. So I walk up to this drummer god and I ask him if he's here just to play rockband or if he actually needs somethin. And he replies with this

"I'm waiting for my girlfriend."

LOL I almost busted a nut trying to refrain from laughing. Like bro... you don't a girlfriend, but if your story is true... she probably left your rock legend ass after she saw how stupid you look.


The Pay-As-You-Go Thief

Another day in the store, I'm doing my usual walk around my department making sure everything is properly placed and what not and then I notice this shady lookin mofo from the corner of my eye. So I look to him and he sees me and then he darts to the other direction. So in my head... I'm thinkin

"This mofugger is tryin to hustle me."

So using my ninja tactics... I leave him with the impression that I'm leaving the permimeter. Then I make my circle around him and I pop up on his other side and "surprisingly" he's tearing open a pay-as-you-go phone.

"Excuse me..." I stated

The phone bandit is startled and he turns around.

"uhhh... I need a battery" He explained

"well you do know that you gotta buy that if you need the battery" I replied

"Well...I need it now..." He said

"Well...buy it now then" I stated

"Okay...well...I don't need a battery no more..." He answered.

The googly eye goofball then gave me the half opened box and left. Seriously... how stupid can you get thinking you can out beat the system...especially when you got Jeffreynoodle on the watch.

Random Rants:

-You'd be honestly surprised at how stupid people can be. Like my department is the first department you see when you enter the store right... and I always get customers who come to me and ask...

"Where are your computers?"

This is when I seriously wanna reply

"uhhh... the place right there where it says C-O-M-P-U-T-E-R-S in big ass fuckin letters. For Fsakes... use your eyes.

Another thing that chaps my ass is asian people who think they can outsmart me by talking in chinese or viet. I can understand both so talking shit about me in viet/chinese isn't gonna give you a better deal you cheap mofo's

And no... you don't know my dad...therefore I'm not gonna give you a deal

No...I don't care if you are spending 100$+, therefore I'm not gonna give you a deal.

No... I'm not going to staff this for you in exchange for your payment

No... I refuse to give you a deal because the box has a tiny dent in the corner or its scratched

No... I will not give you a deal simply because you think me and you have got to help eachother out on the note that we are both asian.